So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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