I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Randomize
