this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
