I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
