wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
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