i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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