She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
