A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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