Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
