If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You are a genius and a whore.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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