either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
