My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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