I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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