Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
