Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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