i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
