If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
