There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
