I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
