Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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