Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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