So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Come see our sink grown plant.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
