The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
