We're like a lot better than the average bears
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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