Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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