i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
