If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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