so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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