toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
