singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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