Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
