Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
