I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
This is my gift to your gina
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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