Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
