So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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