K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
