the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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