i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
