even my farts smell like vagina
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
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