i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
