My room smells like vodka and shame
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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