but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
