how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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