Nicole vs. Life
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
