i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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