insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
