I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
