Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
