I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize
