The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
