There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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