I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
